Examples of good and bad writing: (numbered by paragraph)

Bad Writing

1) To begin with, the paragraph opens with two truistic claims, and neither are fascinating or intriguing either; of course "(in) society... there is an individual." The opening lines also seem to be sentence fragments, although the writer could be attempting to make his stance strong and sure. However, the writer's claims are both unclear and ignorant. The opinion that "philosophers have always wasted they’re time" is an intense statement that does not take in the reader's perspective, it could offend many people, and could also be rendered as a lie. The claim that the media hosts "hellish ideas" is another strong opinion, so clearly the writer is thinking to much of himself. He leaves open ended questions that never get answered, and the direction is unclear, for he dabbles in ethical relativism, philosophy, media, the individual, and cultural differences, without a clear sense of what he is trying to convey.



2) This writer apparently renders grammar to be obsolete, as this piece is a giant run-on sentence. It falls under the category of "clever by half", as it uses large words and business terminology in every place possible. I could not see the direction the writer was headed, and the few possible claims it introduces were mashed into one confusing sentence.



3) The direction of the claim is unclear in the beginning, and I could not fully understand what the writer wanted to prove. It also appears that the writer has introduced two claims, one concerning the theories of science stirring emotion, and the second identifying religion as a filler for lost love. It begins with one claim and ends with a different thesis, confusing the reader. I also felt like the writer was ignoring the reader, by ranting about ideas too deep and too complex in too short a paragraph. Too much information was being presented, and none of it flowed well together either.

Good Writing

4) The paragraph begins with an interesting hook, mentioning a "fascinating ceremony". The rest of the paragraph explains that statement clearly, giving the reader clear points of information, and direct points of interest. He develops his claim nicely without going over board, and leaves the reader feeling satisfied with new, clear knowledge.

5) The writer introduces a question, and explains the answer clearly and confidently. The opening quote is also quite appropriate, and instantly catches your attention. It is not overly descriptive, and clearly demonstrates the answer to his opening question, leading in one direction, developing one claim.

6) The writer clearly identifies his claim, taking in the readers perspective and making sure that both the writer's thought process and the reader's are at the same level. He then permits the reader to take in many sides to his original argument without heading in a different direction, and staying true to his opening claim. His ideas are fairly clear, and they are also interesting to the reader, presenting a neat idea that is not a truism.